Happiness?

Fericirea.. Fiecare are o definitie proprie si cat de cat unica pentru fericire. Si asta inseamna ca numarul de defintii si de forme de fericire este egal cu numarul de oameni care indraznesc sa analizeze sentimentul.

Oamenilor le este frica.. Suntem fricosi de la natura. Dar asta nu ne-a oprit niciodata. Intr-un final, ori reusim sa trecem peste frica, ori pur si simplu o ignoram. Cand vine vorba de fericire, e exact acelasi proces. Ti-e frica.. pentru ca fericirea vine cu un pret. Si nestiind pretul, nu poti sti daca merita sau nu sa risti.. Asa ca ti-e frica. Si de multe ori poate ca nimeni nu are curajul sa se avante pe teritorii periculoase.. Dar cand se iveste o portita si poti vedea ce anume risti si ce castigi.. Atunci faci pasul final.

La mine nu sta treaba asa. Eu am riscat de multe ori, dar de mai multe ori am ales sa imi ascult instinctul.. frica. Am fost coplesita de multe ori de ganduri exagerate ce nu mi-au dat libertatea sa fac orice as fi vrut sa fac. Instinctul, desi uneori de mare ajutor si incredere, alteori te poate insela.. Si e cea mai neplacuta situatie din punctul meu de vedere. Deoarece instinctul il ai de la inceputul existentei tale.. si daca nici el nu poate fi de incredere, atunci ce a mai ramas? Mai nimic. In ziua de astazi, nimic nu este de increde! Nimic si nimeni. Inafara de propria persoana.. Care, la mine cel putin, tinde sa te minta uneori.. Sa te ia peste picior. Dar poate sunt doar eu.

Dar revenind la fericire.. In ultimul timp, am inceput sa simt cu adevarat ce inseamna sa fii fericit. Nu e sentiment nou.. Am mai trecut prin asta. Dar de fiecare data cand sentimentul asta se intoarce la mine, e bine! Sunt fericita nu pentru ca toate merg dupa cum vreau eu.. Pentru ca nu toate merg dupa cum vreau eu. De fapt, mai nimic nu merge dupa cum vreau eu! Sunt fericita pentru ca pot sa menajez lucrurile care merg cat de cat bine astfel incat sa imi alunge orice alt sentiment. Si raman cu fericirea, sentimentul de implinire.. iubirea si tot tacamul :) Raman cu ce e bun.

Intr-un final, am reusit! Filtrez sentimentele si raman cu ce e mai bun din bine.. Oricine poate face asta si incurajez pe toata lumea sa riste.. Sa faca lucrurile putin diferit, dar sa salveze instinctul.. Pentru ca, la un moment dat, tot vom avea nevoie de el.

A lovers story..

It begins.. A morning like any other, but still.. it was going to be something different. Something wrong.. but so damn good.

She woke up, started thinking.. but where did thinking get her? In the past, nowhere.. So she just acted. They started talking.. It was brief. After she finally had the courage to speak her mind, it happened. They where going to see each other again.. It was wrong, sure, but they both knew they were going to love every minute of it.

The past.. When you can`t let go of the past, but still have to grab the future, you make sure the past can stay with you just a little while longer.. before it disappears forever. You make it stay.. and you enjoy it.

She finally got there.. She knew the path to his house like the palm of her hand.. Her heart started beating faster.. Maybe it was the running.. or maybe it was the chill that shot her spine when she rang the doorbell.. No one knows.. except her.

The door cracks open.. His smile greats her with warmth and he asks her in.. She steps through the door and enters.. his smell is everywhere, just as she likes it. They both sit down, at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette that they both know will do them no good.. Why should they start talking? There`s plenty of time for that.. Now, they just try to look.. Just a glimpse of each other and they quickly look away.. Why the shyness? Why the terrified look in her eye? She`s afraid, of course.. But afraid of what? Of losing him? She already lost him. She`s afraid of screwing up. That must be it..

After the seemingly very short cigarette, they both go in the other room.. She`s used to sitting on his bed, so she does exactly that.. His smell again.. so soft, and yet so powerful.. So overwhelming.. So.. perfect.

They don`t really talk much, just decide to watch a movie. A romance.. that will certainly have an effect.. Or so it remains to be seen.

Movie.. laughs, giggles, short stares.. And it`s over. Now what? Should they talk? She starts..

-It was nice..
-Yeah.. Now what should we do?
-I think we should talk..
-About what?
-Well.. about this. This moment.
-What about it..?
-Remember when you said you just wanna be friends?
-Yeah..
-Well, I agree.. We should remain just friends, if that`s what you want.. But, I can`t shake the feeling I`ve been having for a while now.. and, as strange as it might sound, my heart can`t let go of you. But that doesn`t matter right now. What matters is that we`re here, together, possibly for the last time, alone.. in the same room. And seeing as we have a past together, I was just..
-Just what? Say it..
-I was just thinking.. we should take advantage of it..
-I don`t know.. I told you..
-FORGET what you told me! Right here, right now, there`s nothing more.. than this moment, here.. and now. It`s just us..
-...
-I know.. Maybe I`m asking for much, but.. I remember all the things you said to me, things that made me smile, that made me love you.. I just wanna feel complete again.. And with you, I felt like that.. We had something special.. I loved every minute of it. And I know you liked it too.. So why not do it again? No one will ever know.. I won`t ever talk about it after I walk out your door.. but for just one more hour or so.. let me.. let US feel complete again.. Let us be what we used to be, forget all our troubles and just.. enjoy every minute of it! I want you to take me away.. Make me forget everything and just.. carry me away.. like you promised you would..


He says nothing.. She nervously awaits his reply..